Rewriting Failure: Part Two

My last blog was about discovering that I’m the kind of person who climbs mountains (even when I’m afraid). The mountain I’m currently climbing is learning how to write a book. It’s not so much about the writing. It’s more about rewriting my fear of failure.

A few weeks ago, I woke up and realized if I wanted to write an inspirational and engaging book, it couldn’t be created from my lethargic, low energy self. I had to pave a new path.Somehow it seemed easier to begin by changing my external environment. I needed to create an aesthetically pleasing space that would nurture my imagination. So I traded the hard wooden desk (pictured in the last blog) for a royal blue meditation cushion with a hand-carved marble altar (see above). Next, I needed to (again) let go of my resistance to daily self-care. The story I told myself was that I didn’t have enough time. The irony is, self-care wasn’t optional. I couldn’t create the book without it. So the harder work began. It was time to focus on my internal world – my body, mind, heart and soul.I had officially become a writing couch potato. Even when nothing good was coming from my efforts, I unconsciously punished myself by staying seated and not taking breaks. When encouraged by a friend, ironically, I learned that connecting to nature and moving my body were exactly what regenerated my creativity.So, I’ve begun walking a few miles each morning.
(This is my daily date with my body).

Then it was time to get myself out of the (metaphorical) corner and face my inner critic – that voice inside my head that berated me whenever I faltered. I wondered…What purpose did the critic serve in my life? This was a voice from childhood that served to keep me safe and avoid negative feedback from others. But now, rather than protecting me, my inner critic was draining me of energy and keeping me stuck. You’ll be happy to know, I’m out of the corner now and being much kinder to myself.

So when negative thoughts enter my head (because they still do),
I affirm that “I am a gifted author and writing becomes easier each day.”
(This is my daily date with my mind).

I was overwhelmed with the enormity of this project. It seemed insurmountable. I would wake up with a sinking feeling in my chest and stomach each morning and an underlying sense of dread. While I was at dinner with a friend, I shared what I was experiencing and got curious about how he competed in triathlons and led multiple entrepreneurial ventures. He said, “Instead of getting overwhelmed with all that needs to get done, just focus on the next step and definitely don’t forget to celebrate success along the way!”

So, now when I wake up in the morning (before I even get out of bed)
I set intentions about what I plan to accomplish that day.
Each evening, I write three reasons to celebrate and do my happy dance while brushing my teeth.
(This is my daily date with my heart).

Lastly, I had become more worried about ME – and what it would look like if I failed. I had forgotten that the privilege of writing this book was the opportunity to help others. It was time to reconnect with my higher purpose and focus on being in service.

So, I spend 10 minutes sitting on my royal blue cushion, in silent reflection to reconnect to my purpose and remind myself that this is an opportunity to give back.
(This is my daily date with my soul).

To those of you for whom writing comes with ease, please imagine me virtually facing you with my hands (palms together in prayer position at my heart) as I bow forward. I am in awe.

For the rest of you, you know what I mean. It may not be writing a book, it may be a different obstacle…finding your life’s partner…or if you have, working through the everyday challenges of a committed relationship. Your challenge may be believing in yourself enough to get clear about your dream job and having the courage to choose your heart’s path. It may be having that difficult conversation you’ve been putting off that feels uncomfortable, yet is so necessary.

There are many ways we let obstacles hold us back or make up reasons why we failed and it’s okay to quit. This experience was about my unwillingness to build daily routine in my life and surrender to this book rewriting my relationship to ME.

What about you?

  1. Do you punish yourself for not attempting or having failed in the past?
  2. What needs to transform (internally/externally) to change the outcome?
  3. What will it take to rewrite failure, trust yourself and recommit?


By the way, it’s not failure. It is just success stopped too soon!

Join the conversation on Tell us – What dream are you willing to recommit to? It’s a great place to share and get support from your fellow i-Five Community. Kudos to you for investing in your communication, your relationships and your good health!

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